Still tying shoes: Mothering in uncertainty.

Whenever I tie a shoe, or answer a random question, my oldest asks me, “Mama, how did you know how to do that?” And I always reply, “Because mommy’s know things.”

As we get deeper into 2026, I’m finding the depth of my knowledge to be dwindling, as the more that unfolds the stability of the world, the more uncertain I’m starting to grow. Uncertain of what’s to come, uncertain of safety (a right that should be guaranteed), and uncertain of how to hold it together when everything seems to be falling apart. How do we continue to tie shoes and answer questions and go to work? Everything seems to be a bandaid on a bullet hole. Where I encourage us all to begin is simply in the expression of how we feel. In that are we able to validate our lived experiences and normalize that a lot of what is happening is not ok. The power of emotional expression is yet to be stripped, so, if you are able and safe to do so, say how you feel. While it sounds simple, it holds so much power. Your vulnerability and expression of emotion gives others the courage to do the same. Ideally, hopefully…this can create a wave of connection, leading into a sound community that upholds one another in times of uncertainty. Leaning into the simple yet effective formula of “I feel ____, so I need ___” can be a supportive way to express emotional needs and meet them with action. Note that in this, you are not alone, and there are many that are feeling just like you.

If you are needing more support, I’ve been following and recommending the acronym KISS: keep it simple, sweetheart (hehe). When our bodies are in a constant state of hyper vigilance, it is generally not the time to try something different or new, as your body is allocating it’s resources for the basics of survival. Simplicity in regulation indicates that many of our tools are within is. No fancy tools or techniques, just you.

1. Breathe.

Your breath is not taken from you and is an accessible tool to encourage regulation of your nervous system. While there are many techniques, my favorite is a 4-7-8. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, release for 8. Do this for 2-5 minutes to gain the full benefit.

2. Humming.

The vibrations from humming send signals to your brain that your body is safe. Hum your favorite tune or simply hum with an exhale.

3. Swaying/Rocking

When a baby is born and we hold it in our arms, if we stand, we are probably also swaying. This a natural response to ease and calm baby and can offer the same peace to you.

4. Basic tasks.

Fold clothes. Cook a meal you know by heart. Vacuum. Color. Simplicity and familiarity are key.

5. Raise good humans.

The most long term political action you can make in your day to day is to raise kind humans. You are making the next generation with your values and beliefs. Keep giving, loving, and caring with all of you, as they will carry that into how they see the world.